We're done waiting.
Only a river of blood can bring us back together.
It's up to you.
It's always been up to you, Michael.
Hey, baby, you know what? It's after midnight.
So? I don't think my pussy is gonna turn into a pumpkin.
It's technically Halloween, baby.
How'd you like to be fucked by the Frankenstein monster, huh?
You're my bride of Frankenstein. Oh, ooh.
Big, green, scary monster!
Oh, no. Oh, I'm so scared.
Titties good. No.
Ass good.
I'm gonna give it to you good.
I'm gonna give you my jolly green giant.
Jesus Christ!
What are you doing? Get the fuck out of here.
Come on, get the fuck out of here, motherfucker.
You're gonna stare me down?
Stare this down, motherfucker!
Come on now! I'll fucking blow two holes right through your fucking mask.
I been to Nam. I'll take you out, you hear me? I'll fucking...
What are you doing?
Open the door! No!
No! Open the door!
Son of a bitch!
You fucking did it!
Fuck, what am I gonna do?
- Hello? - Hey, princess.
Hey, Dad. What's up?
Listen, is, uh, Laurie around?
I'd like to talk to her.
No, she left before I got up. Why, what's up?
Well, could you do me a favor?
Could you find her and then call me when you do?
Why? What's going on?
Uh, sweetie, I gotta tell you about that later.
Could you just do me that favor, please?
Everything okay? Everything is fine.
I just need to talk to her, sweetie. Okay?
He's still out there.
Rich and famous. All because of our pain.
I hope he's having fun.
Are you a real redhead? Thank you. Have a good one.
Here you go. Thanks.
It's going very well, indeed. Well done.
Yes, look at the crowd. It's great. Great.
Right, well done.
Ah. Thank you. Can you make it out to, uh...?
I'm sorry, I'm a little nervous. Chett. Calm down, calm down.
Big deep breath. Thanks.
Chett Johns. No, no, actually, you know what?
Chett, the bringer of death. Okay.
That's Chett with two T's.
Chett, the bringer of... The bringer of
death. Oh, man, that is so awesome.
There you go. Thank you. Look,
I just wanted to let you know
that Michael is so much deeper than those other guys.
Like Dahmer and that bitch Bundy
because he eats at the core of the victim's soul, you know?
How people ostracize those... All right. Well, thanks so much.
You're the man. You're the man. You're the man!
All right. Thank you. You're the man, dude.
- You're awesome. Thank you. - Thank you.
Jesus. Well, we always have one, don't we?
Hi. How are you?
Do you want me to sign this? What?
You don't recognize her?
Um... Why? Should I? I'm not surprised.
Take a really good look at her.
Oh, she's beautiful. She was beautiful.
This is my daughter.
Lynda.
Your monster killed her. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
He butchered her. You have my deepest sympathy.
Do I have your deepest sympathy, you fucking pig?
I'm truly sorry. You killer.
No, I didn't kill anyone. You killer!
All right, everyone, just calm down. It's all right.
You butchered my baby. Back up!
You butchered my baby!
- Can we get somebody...? - I'm gonna get you, Loomis.
I swear... Get your hands off me. Get your goddamn hands off me!
It's all right. Everyone, just calm down. Calm down.
- All right, I'm fine. - Everything's under control.
- You son of a bitch! - He's got a gun!
- I'm gonna kill you, Loomis! - Jesus.
I'm gonna kill you, goddamn it!
I mean, the police said that it wasn't even loaded, so...
Oh, I feel so much better.
All part of the job, I suppose.
Spoon-feeding drivel to the masses.
Comes with its own bloody price, doesn't it?
If you say so.
Just what is that tone, Miss McDonald?
Do you think I'm crossing the line or something?
I mean, do please feel free to voice your opinion.
Well, off the record, yes.
Yes, actually, I think this book crosses quite a few lines.
These are people's lives you're toying with.
There's gonna be serious repercussions.
Fuck.
Fuck!
Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck you, motherfucker!
Fuck!
Fucker!
Laurie?
Hey. Hey!
What is...? Hey, where are you going?
I'm getting the fuck out of here.
Wait. Wait, hey! Listen, my dad called. He was trying to find you.
Yeah, I bet he was.
Tell me you didn't know, please!
- Tell me you didn't know. - Know what?
Fuck it. I mean, daddy's little princess knows all, right?
What are you talking about?
Hey, stop. Calm down. Look at me.
What is going on?
Let me just call my dad, okay? We can talk to him.
You know what? I have a message for your dad.
Tell him that Angel says "fuck you"!
Who is Angel? Laurie!
Hey, fucking asshole!
Fuck you!
Hey, sweetie, did you find her?
Yes. She ran in and she ran out screaming some shit about:
"Tell your dad that Angel says 'fuck you."'
Who the fuck is Angel?
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I want you to head over to my house and keep an eye on Annie for me. Okay?
Oh, boss, last year she tried to kick me in the nuts.
You know she's not gonna like this.
I don't care what she likes.
Now head over to my place, and if she kicks you out,
you just sit outside with a shotgun on your lap,
like you did last year, all right? Yes.
Look, um, can I crash here tonight, please?
Yeah, okay.
What's up?
Look, I just found something out that's kind of
freaking me the fuck out.
Okay. What is it?
See, I went into this bookstore,
and I got this book and
inside there's just a bunch of pictures...
Check me out, man.
Fucking sick, huh? Whoo.
I'm a chick dressing up as a dude who wants to be a chick.
Shut up. What? Who died?
Shit, baby, did somebody really die?
I'm not me.
I'm not me. Do you understand what the fuck I'm saying?
Not really. But...
Who are you then?
I'm Angel Myers.
Michael Myers' sister.
All right, dude, even I wouldn't fucking touch that joke.
You can't kid around about that shit. You had me going there.
You're such a good little actress... I am not fucking joking!
All right, if you fucking think I'm lying, look at this.
All right? Look.
There's me, Angel Myers.
And here's my fucked-up life.
Fuck.
Maybe it's a mistake.
Holy shit, dude.
This is fucking insane.
Our next guest gained infamy as a psychologist
for America's leading serial killer.
"Leading serial killer"? Well, he's probably the most notorious.
"Leading"? He's number one in his field.
Anyway, his new book is called The Devil Walks Among Us
is available somewhere. Please welcome Dr. Samuel Loomis.
Dr. Loomis. Hi, David. How are you?
Have a seat. Hi, everyone. Nice to, uh...
Thank you. Thank you. Very nice.
Mr. Weird, how are you? Al's good.
Great.
Now, you've been criticized, and in some circles, I gotta say,
outright accused of profiteering off the misery of others.
I mean, how do you even respond to that criticism?
Well, you know, I think that's completely unfounded.
I always get permission when I do the parody.
No, Al, I was talking to Loomis.
Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead.
No, no, no, please. It was fascinating, your answer.
- Your turn. I'm done. - If you've got something...
Actually, I take great issue with that statement.
Besides, I might say that I've endured quite a lot of misery of my own
in order to tell this story.
Yeah, everyone feels real bad for you except...
I have never, ever been so humiliated in all my life!
You were fantastic. Trust me.
Nonsense! Good night. Thank you. Thank you.
- Trick or treat. - Here you go.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
Are you a giant?
Can we be friends?
Mark, come on. Don't talk to strangers.
Bye.
I wanna party. I've spent my whole fucking life being good
and look where it's gotten me.
Fucking nowhere.
Fuck it, you guys.
Are you guys with me or not?
I just... I think that we should stay back.
I mean, what you need is a mellow night.
No, I don't. Yeah, definitely. We can just
watch TV or something.
Yeah, like, order some food
and figure all this shit out.
I want...
to go party!
I wanna fucking get drunk. I don't fucking care anymore.
I want to fucking party!
I wanna party. Well, you know me. I'm totally in.
Come on, she wants to party.
Please? Oh, please?
Come on. Come on, boo-boo, please?
All right, all right, all right. Fine.
Has to be a chill night, though. Okay, a chill night.
What the fuck? Andy, are you seriously planning on standing out here all night?
This is ridiculous. Hey, Annie,
I just do what the boss tells me.
Well, I'm the boss of the boss,
and I say move your shitbox over there, Kojak. Okay?
And don't make a federal case out of it. Turn off the damn gumballs.
I'll do what I gotta do.
What the fuck are you gonna do, jackhole?
You'll find out. Oh. Ooh, I'll find out?
I'm shaking in my boots.
Okay, why don't we get back to the music.
I get another drink.
Good idea, huh?
Let's go. Captain Clegg and the Night Creatures.
Yeah!
- Do you like my outfit? - I do, I do.
What are you supposed to be? A sexy vampire?
I'm a chick who's dressing up as a dude who wants to be a chick.
But you are a chick, though, right?
Watch your step.
Why don't you put your hands down my pants and find out, Wolfman?
At this point I don't really care. No, but seriously, you have a vagina?
You're so cute.
You're gonna like my van, though, I promise.
You got a fucking van? Yeah. I got a van.
It's got some drinks in there. They're roofie-free, I swear.
A "blow job"? Is that what you guys call them still?
I call them "sucking a dick."
There she is. She's a beauty. She is, isn't she?
I had a lot of fun in this van. And a lot of pussy.
The Shaggin' Wagon.
It's a work of art. I like her...
What's the difference between a jack-o'-lantern and a blond?
What?
There is no difference.
They both have a blank expression, and they're hollow inside.
I like them, you know what I mean? You shut the lights off, they glow.
The ladies seem to like it.
Yeah? The ladies love it?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
You get laid a lot? I get a good amount.
Hey, hold this, Blondie.
Now Blondie and jack-o'-lantern both have three holes.
Hey, Gianova, do the trick.
Watch this. Wow.
I love it.
You look very pretty tonight, by the way. Very pretty.
I like your tattoos. Are they real?
Oh, yeah. They're real. They're real? That's cool.
I was thinking about getting... These are real too.
They are real. May I? That's... They feel real.
That's... That's nice. That's nice. That's it?
You big baby!
Go home!
Talking's not working, okay? I'll shut up.
I'm gonna shut up.
Okay, look. Time out, time out. I'll be right back.
I'll be right back. Give me one second.
Where the fuck are you going? I gotta take a piss.
I've had to pee since I got here.
I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere.
So who says I wasn't into the water sports?
A little golden shower.
That's gross. You're a trip. I'll be right back. I'll be right back.
Hurry the fuck up.
Fucking hurry up, dude.
Oh, my God.
No! No! No!
Oh, my God. No!
Welcome Dr. Samuel Loomis.
Thank you, thank you.
Dr. Donald Faber, who's a noted abnormal psychologist...
He's not noted.
He says, "Nothing more than a bloody horror show
showcasing Dr. Loomis' own self-inflated ego
and never-ending quest for fame and fortune."
Put that in your scrapbook.
How do you swallow that?
Snap!
You got snapped on by Weird Al.
If I'd survived a shark attack, you'd be gushing over every gory detail.
Begging me to show the teeth marks.
God, no. Horrendous.
Are you telling me there's no difference between Michael Myers and a shark?
Of course there is. Good God, don't be ridiculous.
I'm a little confused.
Are we talking about the Austin Powers Mike Myers
or is this...? It's over.
Mya!
Looking for me?
Do you know where Mya is?
What do you want from me?
It's almost time to come home, Angel.
Is she ready?
Soon.
Laurie, Laurie.
Hey, hey! It's me, it's Mya.
Come on. Oh, fuck.
Step. Steppity-steppity-step.
Hey, I so wanna go back in.
And I wanna... No, no, no.
No. We're going home. Hey.
Where's Harley?
I don't know.
See, we need to go back in and... No.
She went to go hang out with some dude like she always does.
She'll find her way home.
Hello?
Hey, sweetie.
Seriously, Dad. Please stop calling.
Okay? Oh. Okay.
I know you love me.
Oh, God. I love you too.
I'm glad you decided to come home.
Running away never solves anything. Trust me, I've tried.
I'm sure they have their reasons for not telling me.
Figure it out in the morning.
Hey, world!
Guess what.
I'm Michael Myers' sister!
I'm so fucked!
What am I gonna do, dude?
Just take it one day at a time.
One day at a time.
- Annie was right. - Maybe she's a genius.
Home sweet home.
The place is, like, spinning.
Want some tea? Yeah. What you got?
Blended black/green tea?
Berry blossom... Yeah, berry.
Does it have caffeine in it? Yeah.
No. Dude, I can't fucking read that?
Oh, yeah, it does.
It's okay. I'll sleep like a baby after what we went through tonight.
Mmm. These cookies are so good. You should have a cookie.
It'll help soak up all that alcohol rotting in your gut.
Ugh. Don't think a cookie is gonna save me.
Oh, my head.
What the fuck?
Annie?
No, please.
Now go have some fun.
Okay.
Annie?
- Annie! - Oh, my God.
- No, baby! - Oh, my God!
Mya, Mya, Mya!
I need you to calm down.
I need you to call 911. Please? I need you to call 911.
Go! Go!
Oh, my God! Annie!
Oh, my God, baby.
Fuck.
Baby.
Oh, my God.
There's a girl in the, um...
She's upstairs, she's...
I don't know... I don't know if she's okay. She may be dead, but there's blood everywhere.
Stay with me. Please stay with me. Please.
Please, I need you, okay?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, I need you so much.
Baby, I'm so sorry.
Mya, hurry!
I don't know. I'm on Cherrywood Road, I'm not at home.
I'm at... Maybe it's avenue, uh... Hold on.
Stay on the line. It's Cherrywood, I know that.
It's... We're at 1-5... We're at 15 Cherry...
Mya, what's happening?!
It is him. Please go.
I'm not leaving you.
Baby, I'm gonna put you down.
No. I'm gonna put you down.
No.
Okay.
Okay. Hold on, baby, hold on.
You know, Annie's gonna smell this on my clothes and kill me.
Sheriff Brackett.
I just got a 911 phone call.
So did you dispatch? Yes, sir, I did.
So why are you telling me about it? Because, sir,
the phone call came from your house.
No.
Please, baby, please.
I'm gonna stay right here. It's okay.
No, baby, no. I'm not leaving you.
It's okay. Go. No, I'm not gonna leave you.
Baby? Baby? Baby?
Annie?
Annie? Stay with me.
Stay with me. Stay with me, baby. Stay with me, okay?
You gotta stay with me. You gotta.
Annie, stay with me.
Don't leave me, baby.
Please, sheriff, you don't wanna go in there. L... Let me handle this.
Where is she?
You don't wanna go in there, sheriff.
No.
Oh, God.
Oh, no. Annie.
Annie! God, no.
God, please.
Oh, God. No!
No!
Stop!
Stop, please!
Please stop!
Stop! Please!
Stop!
Please! Please stop!
Stop, please!
Stop!
Stop.
Please stop. Stop, please.
Stop.
Hey.
Are you okay? He's coming. Please.
He's coming. He's coming. No one's coming.
It's okay. He's... He's gonna kill me.
Please! It's okay.
I gotta take you to a hospital, okay?
We're gonna go to a hospital, and everything's okay.
It's okay. It's okay.
Hurry. It's okay.
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
You're all right. You're all right. It's okay.
Chief.
We got another body up on Eagle Road.
We got a witness.
She saw a large man carrying a girl away from a crash.
The state police believe the perp is barricaded inside of a shack
just north of the crash site.
Okay.
Want me to handle it?
I think maybe you should drive. Yes, sir.
People, roll out. Going to Eagle Road.
Who are you?
You know who I am, Angel.
Now,
repeat after me:
I love you, Mommy.
Mommy, I love you! Please! Please don't!
Let me go! Let me go!
You are surrounded.
Come out with your hands up.
- Help! Help, please! - I repeat.
You are surrounded.
- Come out with your hands up. - Don't! Please!
Treasury purchases today to keep that 10-year yield below 3 percent.
That's a big issue. When stock traders start talking about treasury yields, pay attention.
You're an asshole.
This is breaking news.
This is Chopper 2. I wanna take you below.
This situation is just incredible. I can't believe what I'm reporting,
but a man who police believe to be deceased serial killer Michael Myers
has taken a hostage, now identified as Laurie Strode.
Miss Strode allegedly shot and killed Myers herself
after being abducted on Halloween night.
And as if this story couldn't get more twisted, it was revealed earlier today...
God, no.
Come out with your hands up.
You're surrounded.
Tell me you got a shot, Caleb.
No, I can't get a clean shot. Damn it.
In the shack. You're surrounded.
There is no escape.
Come out with your hands up.
Waste of fucking time. Chief.
No sniper has a clean shot.
Hey, hey, hey! Get this vehicle out of here. Sir, get back in the car.
Hold this. Sheriff!
Sheriff.
Get up. Get up.
There's an innocent girl in there I might have kept safe
but for your greedy fucking book.
I wanna shoot you. I wanna shoot you so bad.
I wanna shoot him. I wanna shoot him!
- I wanna fucking shoot him! - Sheriff, please.
You son of a bitch! You don't deserve to live.
Please, I just
came here because I wanted to help.
There is nothing that you have to say
that I wanna hear.
Sheriff, please.
You must trust me.
Look, this is pointless.
Michael's never gonna respond to hostage negotiations.
Get him the fuck out of here.
Listen, I can draw him out.
I can draw him out. I need to do this.
Please, let me do this. Get him the fuck out of here!
All right, all right, all right! I can walk from here, okay.
Get out of there!
Sheriff! I owe you.
I owe you this. Goddamn it!
- Stand down! - Stand down!
Michael.
She...
needs to come with me.
Come on. I... I can't.
He's holding me down.
What?
Listen to me, Laurie. There's no one holding you down.
Let me go!
Listen to me, Laurie, listen! Stop!
Let me go!
- Listen to me! - Let go of me!
Stop it!
Stop! It's all in your mind. No! No!
It's all in your mind! Let me go!
We are ready. Stop!
It is time, Michael. Stop!
Take us home. Stop!
Michael, for God in hell...
Die!
Now!
Hold your fire! Hold your fire!